Sequential Art, Seventh Art & Other Arts: September 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

'X-Men: First Class'

Tis time for another of them posts/essays/reviews here that truly brings it all together: sequential art being the source material, transmuted into seventh art frolics and then paving the way, as a bonus, for some added entertainment in the arts of music, *real* literature and let's not forget all the associated tie-in merchandising that ensues!

Marvel is on some sort of a roll right now: they are delivering movie version after movie version of their properties at perhaps *far too fast* of a pace, really - but let us not dwell too much on that aspect right away here, not right off the bat anyways! (Oh - did I say "bat" just now? What an unfortunate choice so early on - as The Batty one is the lone dark cloud in the Marvel cinematic firmament, indeed! If there wasn't such a pesky creature that, quite inexplicably too, continues to dominate the world of super-hero movie adaptations (at midnight showings, perhaps?) - Marvel would have it all to itself these days! Maybe further along, in some days of future past, eh Marbles? But let's carry forth now...)

Hence, along comes "X-Men: First Class" - mimicking the trend of issuing a trilogy of prequels that lead into the first movie hit (first movie period) ever released on the subject and property - a trend initiated in full throttle by George Lucas, of course! This one here promised to show the characters as they were "before they became..." whatever! Before he was Professor X... Before he was Magneto... Sadly though (spoilers! spoilers!) by the end of the first movie both are already firmly entrenched into what they are known as already - the first as a wheelchair-bound bore and the other as a megalomaniacal dud. For three quarters of this movie, at least, they are refreshingly something else - and that is what we'll focus on here. That 'something else' could not possibly be something entirely original though, as we will soon see; even if you haven't seen the movie...! But that does not impede anyone of thoroughly enjoying this latest X-offering, truth be told!

There was a Marvel editor who, once upon a time gloated that "Marvel got it right the first time" - and that was why they had no revamps, rewrites, "everything you thought you knew is wrong" type of stories... Now, however, this editor must be eating his words (or rolling in his grave, actually) since that is all that Marvel does: revamp, changes to its history, spurning that precious continuity that it carefully weaved and set up so that each interaction "fit" perfectly with the others... Marvel was so proud of that, for it used to be the only thing that set them apart from their competition, really...! Nowadays, the continuity is a burden and in order to free themselves and become more creative, parallel realities have been created in order to be fresh again! It's either that or brand-new, incoherent with the rest of the tapestry "untold chapters" that are released (like, the Avengers of 1959! Wow - pre-dating even the original duo of Steed & Peel - faut le faire!) Marvel's Ultimates are harsher versions of their precious characters: as if Wolverine needed to toughen up... The movie versions are another if not harsher, vastly modified variant indeed... It would appear that Marvel didn't get anything right at all - and changes are necessary all the time now! It comes as no surprise to this blogger pundit bandit right here! And, I must add that the changes applied to the mutant mythos in X-Men: First Class have been all for the better! A new dynamic was created between the three top mutant factions, one that makes sense and binds the together all the more believably. A new origin for the X-Men team is put together here - one without embarrassing fake angels, guys naming themselves after Greek monsters when they're not even Greek or walking, talking icemaking snowmen! All for the better, I say...!

An impressive effort overall, this film was poorly received by quite a lot of pseudo purists who lamented the lack of continuity displayed by the script; one that underlined an apparent lack of respect for the X-Men history overall! Scandalous, if not uncanny at all! But what was so disrespected here, in truth, so as to infuriate the fanboys like this? Some lament the fact that of all the X-Men that should have been there, only the Least one was present (The Beast) along with Professor X himself. No Angel, Iceman, Cyclops therefore and precious Marvel Girl were present - and how could they be present since, in the movies history, they are all joining the team much later on? Forget about your beloved four-color comic-booky continuity, fanboys: one has to respect and be coherent as well as in sync with the other movies that were already made! It turned out just fine, in the end: instead of Cyclops, you got Havok (who will go from being the younger brother to being the older brother - only in comic-books universes can you achieve that marvelous feat right there! Revenge of the bullied younger brother - enjoy!) And instead of Iceman, you got Banshee - an Irishman! The antithesis of ice, the Irish; what's not to love there? Plus the young actor chosen to portray him evokes the Potter's buddy and schoolmate - something Marvel surely hopes will attract all the Potters out there, perhaps...?

Ah - and instead of Angel or Marvel Girl Jean Grey, the movie's cast features another Angel, one far more curvaceous -and an all-around sexier telepath too- in Emma Frost! All win-win equation if you ask me: but then I am no "Marvelite" here - just a light!

Truth be told, there are some incoherences still within the timeframe and chronology set between all these X-movies: the character of Emma Frost was seen in one of those other flicks that actually takes place after this one - much later, in fact! Yet she looks older in this one than in the other film! Blame it on the casting... And don't forget that, as the White Queen of the Hellfire's Club, Emma has some privileges not accessible to the common wench - namely Oil of Olay, Botox and a plethora of other unholy concoctions meant to stave off the ageing process! (Or obliterate it altogether. Or reverse it, while you're at it...?)

All of these concerns are (or should be viewed as) secondary though: for the primary directive is to make sense of the mutant phenomenon, render it believable within a historical context, make it even relevant within those parameters. And by situating the action at the center of the Cuban Missile Crisis, it is mission accomplished indeed. Secret histories (or, more precisely, secret historical facts) have always been a source of fascination for countless observers - and with this saga we have some truly fascinating twists to insert into recorded history here, to say the least! (Scoop: if not spoilers all-together! And it's not-much-of-a-scoop, really: expect to have a very original explanation for the magic bullet that nailed JFK in 1963! That will be in the second movie of this trilogy, surely - the opening minutes of it, most likely! And here is a clue: a mutant was behind it - guess who!) All that, of course, if the all-important suspension of disbelief operates well and in full force...!

This tale takes us back to a flashback scene presented before, in the earliest X-Men film made - we are talking about the one set in World War II - and further develops the whole thing. Verily, this entire movie here rests upon this starting point, as a young Magneto discovers he possesses the powers that he does. The Nazis take note of this, too, and try to tap into that potential as well (one supposes that they gave up on the angry kid soon afterwards and went right back into occultism and the quest for the "Spear of Destiny" as far more, ah, surefire means to win the war - right.)

The most memorable scene has got to be the one when ``Erik meets the Nazis - abroad.`` Actor Michael Fassbender has, by then, taken over the part from the boy actor who tried to convey the grief of seeing his mother shot dead before his very eyes, by (soon-to-be revealed as a - spoilers! spoilers!) fellow mutant Sebastian Shaw, as it turns out - one of the many rewrites added to this thing in order to enhance the overall quality. Ever since being introduced as a major villain into the X-Men mythos by the team of Chris Claremont (writer) and John Byrne (artist - but co-writer too) this character has taken on proportions that boggle the mind; he is, for all intents and purposes, the Benjamin Franklin of the mutant folk! Of all the possible actors that could have been chosen to portray Shaw, it was the ubiquitous (if annoying) Kevin Bacon that got the nod - and he isn`t half-bad here, to tell the truth. Fassbender is on another level though; and this scene in which he catches up with two Nazis (on the trail of his true target: Shaw) and deals with them (and a meddlesome bartender) quite mercilessly is simply masterfully rendered, both in directorial terms as in acting. A tense dramatic crescendo superbly enhanced by the film score (more on that in just a sec!) Too bad that, from all the scenes excerpted from the movie and found floating around YouTube or on IMDB, this one is not to be found...

The soundtrack has an immense role to play here - as per usual with all the movies in this genre - and this one does not fail to deliver one bit. In fact, this has got to be one of the greatest musical scores ever put together to enhance movie action and it would surely get this level of recognition too; if it hadn't been done a thousand times over already. Actually, these days, even mere videogames feature music this good; it is vastly relied upon when the content leaves something to be desired... Having said all this, Henry Jackman proves to be one of the best film score authors in the business right now with this brilliant musical score: the Magneto theme that follows is especially effective in conveying the magnitude of the character, by far the most interesting in this entire movie - and saga. Hans Zimmer has someone breathing down his neck in Hollywood - and make no mistake about it, it is Henry Jackman, no one else!
Just listen to this:


















A word, at this time, about the all-important role of DIRECTOR. This film demanded a certain type of director; one who could handle a large cast and make it all come together in as fluid and orderly a manner as possible. Matthew Vaughn was the chosen one - a British director with a flair for this sort of thing, as his resume shows, and it was the ideal choice indeed. Doubling as director and producer on several films, the man is evidently at ease with team efforts - and the scope of X-Men First Class made it the mother of all team efforts indeed! Vaughn has that British quality that combines an unmistakable flair for action sequences mingling with wit and brainy dialogue. It makes for quite a good mix, overall! Past successes -critically or otherwise- for Vaughn included of course Kick-Ass - which truly qualified him for this. Another production of his -Stardust- displayed ample evidence that he also possessed the sensibility required to handle such a "MutantFest" as this... He has a knack to handle weird, eccentric characters - and the actors who portray them! Strangely enough, even though this is the first (duh) of a planned trilogy and it has been generally-speaking very well-received, the sequel has not been announced, nor has it been confirmed that he would direct it too. Instead, he has announced a sequel to his beloved Kick-Ass, subtitled Balls To The Wall... So much for that British flair, I guess...?

Months ahead of the release, the casting had been set and some press release was issued. Along with it, drop by drop, some vital information was leaked up until the very release date - but most of the truly important elements were withhold, or there was an attempt to that effect made, at the very least... (No pun intended!)

Had there been word that Kevin Bacon was to be the main villain of this piece, everyone would have either laughed or blasted the movie before its very release! As it turned out, it was wise indeed to withhold news of his participation in this latest MutantFest - and to hide also that the main villains were the Hellfire's Club indeed. Likewise, there had been little talk about the director at all - heck, it was more widely-discussed that Vaughn had frowned upon Thor in order to do his Kick-Ass (such a wise decision - Kick-Ass, complete with its thinly-veiled duplicate Batty Guy who dies in the end or near it -spoilers-spoilers?- chosen over a sissy Norseman wanna-be who can't even the right color scheme in order to impersonate the pagan fake god that it wants so badly to be! But we're getting side-tracked here...)

Six months before this film's release, the casting was revealed in this order - with the most impressive coup revealed first and foremost:
Erik Lehnsherr aka Magneto
The task of playing 'X-Men' villain Magneto, memorably played by Sir Ian McKellen in the first three films, has fallen to Michael Fassbender. The actor had impressed in the harrowing biopic of Irish Republican Army prisoner Bobby Sands in 'Hunger', before showcasing his action chops in flop western 'Jonah Hex'. He will be playing a younger version of the Master of Magnetism, born Erik Lehnsherr.
Since this tour de force (making compelling a two-dimensional, four-color wonder is a tour de force, okay? And Fassbender does it even better than McKellen ever could; being free of the costume for three quarters of the movie helped immensely) Michael Fassbender has moved on to portray even more complicated and twisted characters in Prometheus and
A Dangerous Method - the latter giving him the opportunity to defend the tout role of Carl Jung himself! After Magneto, it must have been a crescendo into madness, what else? The thespian admitted so himself...
He wasn't half-bad in Inglorious Basterds either - but not half as visible there as here. It is not an overstatement to say that this First Class flick is so damn good due to two things in particular and one of them is unquestionably the performance by Fassbender.

The true hero of the piece though is, of course, the good guy (people tend to forget this, since about the mid-naughty nineties I'd say...)

And the good guy of this piece is the young Charles Xavier - before wheelchair, baldness and Patrick Stewart.

Charles Xavier aka Professor Xavier
'Atonement' actor James McAvoy will play the pre-wheelchair-bound telepathic mutant as he aims to recruit fellow mutants for his X-Men school. Vaughn said about Professor X: “Out of all the characters, he’s the dullest if you really think about it. He’ll be in a wheelchair eventually, and he’s sort of a sanctimonious preacher half of the time. Patrick Stewart brought so much to that role, and I needed to get an actor who could do the same — who could give him a fourth dimension that’d make him sparkle. James was literally at the top of the list, and he said yes, so I got my first actor very quickly.”
Another fine coup since this actor brings refinement and class (no pun intended at all) to a role that requires it. McAvoy seems born to play this part, the way scholar stance seems to emanate from him - must be the British factor... Plus he has that panache, just like Fassbender, that makes us convinced that he might actually truly be a child of the 60s (hey - I'm a displaced in time child of the Age of Aquarius myself, I remain convinced... But let's not go there now!)

The scenes in which Charles and Erik work together, and are truly the best of associates, are quite evocative of another duo from the actual sixties: William Gaunt's and Stuart Wilson's characters in the classic ITC British series "The Champions"! Gaunt's character was a true forerunner for young Charles Xavier - also a telepath, short, not all that athletic... Wilson was a far less talented actor than Fassbender is - but the physique is quite the same. The powers, though, are miles apart, of course...! These Champions, it is important to remark, were not mutants.
Ironically enough, Marvel borrowed the name for a mid-1970s rag-tag team of misfits that did include two mutants on it. The mutants in question were two of the original X-Men too, no less: the first Angel and Iceman, teamed up with Black Widow - who will be in the Avengers movie; the Marvel Avengers, must we precise? These three then joined up with Ghost Rider of all people and... Hercules! The Hercules! Who in their right mind would think of such a collection of disparate individuals coming together to form a team, you ask? Can't you guess? Yes - John Byrne was involved with these guys, too... But we are digressing here...

Alexandra Bastedo was the most memorable member of the ITC television Champions - the closest match to her character in these X-Men here would have to be none other than the villainess Emma Frost though! The scene in which all three (Charles, Erik and Emma) trade lines and barbs is, to be honest, like nothing the 1960s Champions ever shared, even in their most original and dysfunctional episodes... This scene is also missing from YouTube's lists - alas... I expect all my favorite moments from the film to be missing now! (Fake *sigh*)

One almost wishes that the Charles & Erik team would have continued into the second and maybe even third movie - they did make a good team; better than Gaunt and Wilson! But as we shall soon see (and as you may suspect) by the end of this one, things are already set up so that each guy is firmly encased into his now archetypical role. "Brothers" though they are, they are set to be forever on opposing fronts. No reunion for these champs - unlike the ITC Champions did!


Onwards to the rest of the (far too long - but it comes with the territory) cast now...

Mystique
The blue-skinned shape shifter Mystique, famously played by Rebecca Romijn in the three 'X-Men' movies, will now be portrayed by Jennifer Lawrence. She recently received a best actress Oscar nomination for her much-lauded role in 'Winter's Bone'.
To be able to cast such a talented new talent (wow - Oscar nominee!) in a key supporting role was another masterful move and it paid off immensely too: if only since it elevated this cast miles above that of similar fare (in some people's eyes - it is) as those Edward the Vampire movies... Lawrence is also a far better actress than the Femme Fatale that preceded her to the role - she brought added nuances and humanity (yes, humanity to the mutie) to the role. Said Femme Fatale seems to have appreciated that and gave it her blessing as you'll see when you do see the movie!
Next!

Moira McTaggert
A Scottish geneticist, Moira appeared briefly in 'X-Men: The Last Stand' and was played by Olivia Williams. 'X-Men: First Class' will see Australian actress Rose Byrne star as the mutant expert. Byrne has appeared in a number of screen roles recently, most notably in 'Get Him to the Greek', but is best known for her small screen work in 'Damages'.
No relation to John, Rose Byrne is another one of those refined non-American thespians that just "look like they belong in the Sixties" - she's classy, witty, elegant... A fine casting choice, too - and, truly, we haven't gotten yet to the few bad casting choices made here (as few as they are - they had a huge impact in the overall schema!) The character of Moira is more spy than geneticist here though, as she works for the CIA and goes undercover briefly early on...! (You guessed it: another favorite scene not to be found excerpted anywhere! Damn!) She is instrumental in the finale - you'll see why and may see it coming, too. Hopefully there is something for her to do in subsequent chapters... If not, Rose Byrne will be scooped up by DC to give Wonder Woman another try or something...! She'd be the finest Lois Lane since Margot Kidder, too! A plethora of lesser-known characters could be fleshed out by Rose indeed: Black Orchid, Donna Troy, Mary Marvel, Aquagirl...! But let's not give DC any ideas for free anymore... Next!

Hank McCoy aka Beast
Played by Kelsey Grammer in the much-maligned 'X-Men: The Last Stand', Nicholas Hoult will take over the role of Beast, the super furry and incredibly smart scientist. British actor Hoult has come a long way since starring in 'About a Boy', making a name for himself in 'Skins', and earning critical praise for his role in 'A Single Man'.
He also was a very convincing Eusebios in an otherwise lamentable Clash of the Titans remake... The kid has plenty of potential and he also humanized Beast far more than Grammer ever could or was given a chance to. Next!

Havok
Absent from the 'X-Men' trilogy, the character of Havok (aka Alex Summers) is Cyclops' livelier brother Scott. While Scott Summers was both underused and nothing more than a boy scout in the first films, Havok should have much more of a lasting impact in the prequel. He will be played by Lucas Till, who is best known for his role in 'Hannah Montana: The Movie'. He will also be seen in this year's alien invasion epic 'Battle: Los Angeles'.
It is no coincidence that Lucas Till is one of the few true blue all-American actors in this one - and he is clearly the worst actor of the entire enterprise! With a track record such as his, it becomes even clearer why... And they thought (now alleged) big brother Cyclops was poorly served when he got James Marsden to portray him...! That was genial casting and Oscar-worthy, in comparison... Expressionless and motionless, even when he is using his fantastic concussive power: I guess the kid has got talent indeed? But we're getting side-tracked here... Next!


Emma Frost
Alice Eve was originally signed up to play Emma Frost aka The White Queen, before leaving the project because of reported script concerns. Her loss was January Jones' gain, and the 'Mad Men' actress won't have to leave the 1960s as the film is set in the same decade as her TV show. Unlike the stylish elegance of Betty Draper in 'Mad Men, Jones' Emma Frost will be wearing the same sort of clothes seen in the comic books. Meaning very little! “It's a lot of very body-conscious stuff. If you look at the comic book, she’s barely dressed. She's got quite the bod, which is very intimidating,” Jones explained recently.
One wonders if this was truly Alice Eve's loss and January Jones' gain. The latter does not exactly inherit a meaty role here - she has some lines but, aside from that, she is just a piece of flesh in the other sense often given to "meat"... There is this scene in which she lures an unwitting high-ranked pawn into the Club's Las Vegas lair - and there are plenty of them scantily-clad girlies all around, see? The fact that she is the only one of them with any kind of special gifts, mutant powers or whatever, is most definitely not the reason why she stands out! And, as far as her powers go, they aren't much at all in terms of protection either: I mean, wouldn't it be cool to have a telepath on your side specifically for the purpose of having her scan the premises and notify us if there's anyone spying on us? She fails miserably at that simple task in this one! Or, maybe (just maybe) it is a voluntary oversight of the script? Still... (More on that sort of thing in a minute, by the way... But, for now it is... Next!)

Azazel
Father of X2's Nightcrawler, Azazel is also a teleporter. He will be played by Matthew Vaughn-regular Jason Flemyng. As well as starring in Vaughn's producing work, he has featured in all of his directorial efforts – 'Layer Cake', 'Stardust' and 'Kick Ass'. Away from Vaughn, Flemyng's other screen credits include 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' and 'Clash of the Titans'.
And 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' in which he was none other than Dr. Jekyll and actually had lines to deliver! How funny that they completely forgot to mention LXG, which is the kind of movie that bears a hell (pun intended this time) of a lot of a resemblance to all X-Men movies: we have an ensemble cast, outrageous situations leading to conflict, a plot that goes in all directions and a finale that, usually, leaves a thousand plot threads dangling around... In the vain hopes of getting some sequels in there, I guess! It was vain in the case of LXG, somehow - even with the participation of Sir Sean Connery! And Jason Flemyng... Not mentioning LXG is doubly more suspicious as they mentioned Jonah Hex in Fassbender's case: making sure to mention that it had been a "flop western" - one based upon the competition's cowboy. Wait until Marbles actually green-lights a gay Rawhide Kid movie and watch them redefine "flop western" the same way they redefined comic-bookies: why, the Marvel way, of course! What else did you expect me to say here, hmm?

One more word on Flemyng's Azazel before sending him back to hell: this was a major revision that needed to be done desperately. If Nightcrawler's daddy-o is a contemporary and available, he has to be there, in that Club! No one mutie ever deserved membership in there more than him! Claremont's and Byrne's pastiche of the Hellfire's Club that they had seen on TV's Avengers of the Sixties was filled up with odd members that vaguely evoked three very disparate sources of inspiration - ones that didn't really gel together at all. First there was an undeniable attempt to recreate the eccentricity that was ever so present in all of the British Avengers' foes throughout that show's existence - and even through its latter incarnations. (Ironically, Sir Sean Connery was the villain in the movie adaptation!) Second, Claremont and Byrne wanted to somehow invoke what seemed to be most people's idea of what an "evil Brit" should be - that was the Orson Welles type, the Robert Shaw type and the Donald Sutherland type (even though Donald is Canadian!) Third and most important of all, Claremont and Byrne wanted so desperately to make history that they unconsciously transported in time the whole blamed Club so that it battled their band of misfit muties from the eighties! The Hellfire's Club that they opposed the X-Men was more befitting on a battleground with James West and Artemus Gordon than with misbegotten super-heroes that originated as nothing else but an umpteenth allegory of teenage angst (all cooked up by the same author to boot - Stan Lee! But that's another story - the Marvel origins story!) Watching punks in tights rumble with aristocrats is something you can expect in wrestling sometimes - but anywhere else, well, it is just not serious!

But enough about all that...
Back to the roll call now, shall we?

And next we have... Angel
No - not that Angel...
Angel Salvadore, rather, the mutant with fly-like powers (!) will be played by Zoe Kravitz, daughter of Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet. Both an actress and musician, Kravitz has appeared in a number of low budget films, as well as impressing in a recurring role in hit show 'Californication'. 'X-Men: First Class' is her biggest role to date.
Perhaps the worst of the worst actors featured here or in any super-hero movie, Zoe puts her mother's performance in that film she did in the late eighties to shame actually - meaning that no one from that family should ever act again - ever. Ironic to note that, in that movie from the late eighties, the mother co-starred with a fine actor portraying what could have been the devil himself. And now, the daughter co-stars with this other fine actor portraying an alleged mutant with a very Biblical name and who could really be a devil himself too! History repeating - in a sickening way!

What is more sickening though is the fact that here stopped the preview of the cast: nothing on the actor playing the main villain of the piece (said main villain not being even announced at the time either, as previously mentioned) and nothing on any other vital supporting cast member such as... Oliver Platt, my old favorite! More on him in a second... But first, the outrage! You either do a full preview or you don't at all! If you break down the cast, break it down completely dammit! The movie strongly implies that there are a zillion mutants out there waiting to be "discovered" by any one of the presented factions, really (there should be three, at least: Xavier's school, the lone "good" one of the bunch, since the Brotherhood Magneto soon founds is evil - and so is that infernal Hellfire's Club, evidently! Redundancy fully intended, aye!) Thus, Xavier chancing upon Hank, finding Erik on his path, discovering the talents that Mystique, Banshee and Havok have along the way - well, it is just the tip of the iceberg!

Therefore, on top of all that and in order to fill up the ranks and give a feeling of "worldwide scope" to it all, Xavier pinpoints a whole lot of mutants all over - and attempts to regroup them right away, with Erik Lensherr helping in the recruitment drive! Now, they could not hire all of Hollywood in order to portray all the potential muties here - the film's budget had to be limited! So they restrained themselves to just how many fit in their little private jet there... And so, the other mutants effectively signed up include one mutant named "Darwin" of all codenames... He is an "adaptive mutant" (he just adapts, as he says himself just before he finds it really hard to...) and he is, in fact, one of the most promising talent finds for Xavier - until he just promptly dies (spoilers! spoilers!) perhaps due to the poor quality of the acting from the dude portraying him (but, then, Havok should have died as well - immediately, keeled over dead, on the spot. Maybe Banshee too. And that so-called Angel - definitely a fallen one who does in fact briefly side with Sebastian Shaw's Hellfire's Club. What a terrible character - worse than that Darwin dude, by a mile! What an atrocious actress, too! But we are digressing now...)

To tell the truth, the young actor portraying Darwin here isn't half-bad, especially according to his credentials heading into this project - it is not his fault that he reminds me of a reject from the eighties TV drama "Fame"... (Hmm - the eighties are a recurring theme all of a sudden here? More on that, too - later on!)

Then there's the Hellfire Club's new recruit, "Riptide" - who impresses, I must say; but wasn't that another TV drama from the eighties, "Riptide"? The guy looks like that show's lead actor's long lost bastard offspring too...! (Maybe I am stuck in eighties time loop or something - did a mutant do this to me? Huh?) Not sure what a riptide has to do with hellfire either - or how he got his club membership! Both Darwin and Riptide appear to have been new creations purposefully planted there to make things both more modern and more culturally-diversified: and that is a terrible thing. I have been out of the loop a while and missed out on so-called hot new characters, but it seems to be what happened here since I do not recall either character from the old or recent comic-bookies - at all!

Mercifully, more mutants could not be reached for assistance of any kind during this one. The plot would have really been chaotic then!

I would be remiss if I didn't mention some surprise cameo during the recruitment drive; a very recognizable one - and one that unceremoniously tells both Charles and Erik to **** off (in even worse terms than that, if you can believe! X-Men: First Class is definitely not a movie for the kids, people - and not just because of gruesome deaths and nazi content either! Language, folks, language! Mutants seem to have a foul one, aye... Not that you have to be a mutant to speak like that; New Yorkers prove it on a daily basis. But that is another story: let's stick to the film here. Some of the lines are simply atrocious (tis a blessing for Flemyng that he has nearly none to deliver, almost!) The result is neither worthy of ranking first in whatever category that might be found; nor is it classy one iota! And they say this is the next step in human evolution? Please... A better allegory, anyone? But let's just move away from this aspect now...) Truly this movie would not have been complete without this special cameo - but then it poses another question about the logic of it all (more precisely: how could that guy have been around already, in the freaking sixties? How bloody old is he now, then?!? The obvious logical answer beckons thee all, fanboys and true believers: don't expect any logic in Marbles' heads!)

And speaking of logic, what of the Nazis' helmets?! It is impossible not to note that a blatant error originally made in the first X-Men movie in 2000 was actually REPEATED in this one - for sheer continuity's sake? (Remember - Marvel always gets things right the first time! NOT. Granted, according to IMDB anyway, these types of errors are quite possibly deliberate errors by the filmmakers in order to spruce up the action - but then the question arises whether it should be labeled as misinformation pure and simple!) In the first scenes where the Jews arrive at the concentration camp, the SS guards are wearing steel helmets. However, it was standard practice in the German army (or the SS) to wear such helmets only in combat situations. Taking in and sorting the Jews is not a combat situation. The SS guards at the concentration camps usually wore so-called "garrison caps," not steel helmets. And so the steel helmets are on again as young Erik meets the bogus Nazi scientist (Sebastian Shaw in disguise - shhhh!) and, conveniently, young Erik can vent his anger and frustration upon these two Nazi guards who just witnessed his mother's murder (spoilers, spoilers!) but had nothing to do with it - for it was Shaw who shot his mother! If the Nazis had been wearing anything else, they would have been relatively safe from young Erik power display and the scene would have suffered for it, lost some of its impact - that would be the director's excuse. But, excuse me, wasn't that scene kind of lame to begin with as it ends with a suddenly pacified Erik, when his mother's murderer is standing right there, at his mercy? Shouldn't he have tried to kill him right there and then? Just asking...

One final note about the cast and we're through with this: my old fave, Oliver Platt! Cast as "the Man In Black" in this one, nothing less (but not a cool one like Will Smith or even Tommy Lee Jones, no) Platt's character is a necessary one that bridges the huge gap between Xavier's mutants and the government (did I say gap? I meant chasm!) and what is his reward for this groundbreaking work? He meets an ignominious (not to mention hasty, disappointing and unceremonious) end courtesy of Azazel's not-so-ingenious (very primitive and crude, in fact) use of his teleportation powers... All I have to say is that the best Porthos of all-time (sorry Frank Finlay!) deserves better treatment than this, no matter what film he's in! He wasn't so poorly manhandled in anything else that I remember seeing him featured in - not even in that WCW movie years ago...! But that is, again, another (not-so-marvelous) story...

With all that in mind - let's watch the trailer (again) now:





'X-Men: First Class' was released on June 3rd (although they had said 2nd, at first?) and has, so far (yeah - it is still in some theaters - and on airplanes' entertainment menus too) done very well - better than rival DC's Green Lantern Corps!

The official synopsis, as presented months ahead of the release, read as such: 'X-Men First Class' charts the epic beginning of the X-Men saga, and reveals a secret history of famous global events. Before mutants had revealed themselves to the world, and before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Not archenemies, they were instead at first the closest of friends, working together with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop Armageddon. In the process, a grave rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto’s Brotherhood and Professor X’s X-Men.
Zero mention of the Club on the premises or on set. Odd. In fact this is further evidence that Marvel didn't get it right that famous and proverbial "first time" - because Magneto's ridiculous "Brotherhood" (made up of such illustrious members as "Mastermind" and "Toad") was not only extremely inept but really called "the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants". Sheesh! Paste-Pot Pete should have joined... Thanks to the major revision of this movie's script, the Brotherhood is, de facto, the New Hellfire's Club - nothing less. Magneto's equally ridiculous helmet being ultimately repainted crimson and sporting two (also ridiculous) little horns, it befits, in a very odd kind of way, the whole Hellfire's Club mystique (no pun intended - at all) that Marvel has so desperately tried to siphon into the MutantFest ever since the introduction of Sebastian Shaw's character in the 1980s...! The fact is that all of these so-called "super-villains" are, of course, faint avatars echoing the recognized greatest source of evil of all - the devil himself. Who better to lead an Hellfire's Club than someone who (quite suddenly though) takes a fancy to wearing crimson capes, to garbing himself all red, and to explore his darkest desires in a myriad ways...? Magneto (no matter how silly the name - it is still better than Electro, "Doctor Doom" and other Kangs...!) has it in his character to be one of the greatest of his genre. Too bad he is, at times, such a sad parody of the devil itself, fallen from grace and wishing nothing more than to see others share his saddest of fates...

Nevertheless, Magneto, or rather Erik Lehnsherr, carries this entire movie upon his shoulders - and he carries it all the way to the bank.


This movie also has the distinction of serving as the means to consecrate the reunion of another team of Brits - the boyband Take That - whose latest hit song is used in the end credits only. The prodigal son (prodigal brother?) has returned to the fold (that is Robbie Williams, of course) and the whole is definitely greater than the sum of the parts. Verily, it could be said that Take That's members evoke quite a lot the male characters from ITC's Champions too - shorty's Gaunt and Robbie's Stuart Wilson - sorry, Robbie! But let us focus, in closing, on the song that links the two groups of entities here: mutants and boyband members, that is! Said hit song does tons of things here: some of the lyrics seem to invoke the movie's plotline indeed. The melody is of a typically tongue-in-cheek Brit flavour that would have made Steed, Peel and the real Hellfire's Club smile, for sure. Most of all, the song is overall so damn good (despite certain minor flaws - just like the movie, in fact) that it is not too much to say that it effectively expiates the many sins of a thousand boybands throughout the world (most specifically Take That, of course) as it shows what EVOLUTION can indeed do, even for boybands... Listen to it while you read the lyrics too (here - not here. The latter morons -not mutants- cannot seem to make the difference between "your" and "you" - not when they hear it with a thick British accent they don't! It exasperates - almost as much as the reference to the Son of Man without capitalization - while other things are capitalized. Even more laughable was the fact that they misheard "we're not too far we're too near" as "we're not too far we're down here"...! Down where - in hell? Azazel and the Club sure look like it, sure, but... However, the numerous other references to the movie's plot in the song suffice, really, and there was no need to insert one about Gehenna on top of that. Blame it all on ignorance, fear of the unknown or most probably what humanity really should dread these days: de-evolution. But that's another story - and for another blog, you've guessed it, again!)

Here are two versions of the video for the song - one standard (X-free!) and one intercut with scenes from the movie. And, as a luminous bonus here, the lyrics of it, right in-between - as corrected by me! Enjoy...





"Love Love" by Take That
(C) 2011 Polydor Ltd. (UK)

You bring me right back down to the Earth from the Promised Land
We’re getting close to the center of the Earth with an honest plan
You’ll never be your mother or your father do you understand
UNTIL you understand

We don’t have too much time here
And time it travels far too fast
We’re not too far we’re too near
Before they take it from our hands

Why don’t you teach your heart to feel
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to talk
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give me give me what I need

We’ll take you right back down to the earth from the Motherland
This is a first class journey from the Gods to the Son of Man
You’re at the gates of human evolution don’t you understand
Why don’t you understand (understand)

We don’t have too much time here
And time it travels far too fast
We’re not too far we’re too near
Before they take it from our hands

Why don’t you teach your heart to feel
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to talk
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to feel
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to talk
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give me give me what I need

We don’t have too much time here
And time it travels far too fast
We’re not too far we’re too near
Before they take it from our hands

Why don’t you teach your heart to feel
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to talk
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to feel
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give it all away
Why don’t you teach your heart to talk
And give your love love
Give your love love
Give me give me what I need
(C) 2011 Polydor Ltd. (UK)

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With all that, we can safely say that it is another freaking British Invasion going on - forget the muties and the freaks! Then again, such things are reoccurring with less and less frightening regularity or lasting effects of any kind - so no panic must be launched, really.

In fact, watching the videos above (both the X-Men free version, for all regular users out there, as well as that containing scenes form the film) makes one thing painfully clear: there are mutants out there. Yes, there sure are! And Take That inadvertently (I'm quite sure) hit upon it during the making of their videoclip for "Love Love" - the truth of it all is that the mutants are to be found nowhere else than in the fashion industry! Jean-Paul Gaultier is the real-life Professor X! (The mutant seen on the preceding link is truly a virtual clone of those seen in the Take That video - only the color of the outrageous costume has changed... All of Gaultier's entourage is eeriely close to Xavier's students! The evidence is clear, I say!)



If these are not mutants - I'm not a blogger!
Photo Credits: TallulahDoll.Com
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Aye - support the mutant folk: feed a fashionista!

X-Men: First Class should be followed by a Dropouts chapter and finally a Graduation Party Massacre to conclude the trilogy in typical Marvel style.

The numbers (on top of the critics) are very encouraging for everyone involved - and there is little doubt that the trilogy will continue. All we have to do is have a peek at the "official" tallies at the box-office for all of those X-Flicks and you will see that history is indeed repeating itself here:

Box office performance
Film Release date Box office revenue Box office ranking Budget Reference
Worldwide United States United States International Worldwide All time United States All time worldwide
X-Men August 2000 July 14, 2000 $157,299,717 $139,039,810 $296,339,527 #191 #257 $75,000,000 [110]
X2: X-Men United May 1, 2003 May 2, 2003 $214,949,694 $192,761,855 $407,711,549 #97
#190(A) #136 $110,000,000 [111]
X-Men: The Last Stand May 25, 2006 May 26, 2006 $234,362,462 $224,997,093 $459,359,555 #74
#188(A) #97 $210,000,000 [112]
X-Men Origins: Wolverine May 1, 2009 May 1, 2009 $179,883,157 $193,179,707 $373,062,864 #143 #157 $150,000,000 [113]
X-Men: First Class June 3, 2011 June 3, 2011 $146,317,920 $206,208,385 $352,526,305 #225 #187 $160,000,000 [114]
Total $932,812,950 $956,186,850 $1,888,999,800 $705,000,000
List indicator(s)

(A) indicates the adjusted totals based on current ticket prices (calculated by Box Office Mojo). Courtesy of Wikipedia.


Independently from those numbers, I'd grade X-Men: First Class higher than all previously released X-movies. It was better directed, more interesting (the Nazi and secret history element is invaluable) and, for the most part, better acted too. McAvoy and Fassbender are far better thespians than Hugh Jackman will ever be! Vaughn is a better director than Singer too.

On a scale from 1 to 10, this film should indeed rate a 6 - just like IMDB gives it (more or less!)

Me, I like the movie so much just because it was the only thing of value that I got from an airplane ride on Air France in 2011 - the service was miserable, the food barely adequate (that Camembert - yeccchh! They sure can stick it...!) and the delays far too excessive... But the entertainment was OK - with this film topping the list. And thus, for me, the song at the end of it (LoveLove - duh) will always be identified with an Air France flight (never mind the number) - one that sorely tested my patience. For time travels far too fast - but such is not the case for Air France. Trying to teach my heart to feel... and to talk while refraining from letting, shall we say, other organs take over the conversation was quite the test of willpower, let me tell you that. But wait a second - willpower, that's the other super-hero's schtick; Green Lantern... Been there, done that - and, anyway, all of this is another story... for another blog.


The X-Men will return, though... Just like James Bond.





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