Sequential Art, Seventh Art & Other Arts: The Art Of Rehashing It In 2017

Well, well, well...

I know, I know...

It's been like... YEARS... since we've assessed

the sad state of affairs, entertainment-wide,

here on our beloved (?) SASAAOA...!

You knew we would be back, though - surely?

One has to discuss all this craziness a tad more

thoroughly than one does on social media!

And I would be remiss if my vitriol

wasn't as unbound as ever - HERE!

Thus... let's go!

YouTube willing ~ of course...

After 2016's double dose of Star Wars (The Force Awakens stayed in theaters for two months, way into February at the very least, just like Rogue One still is as we blog here...!) and several misses on various levels (Deadpool was a creative disaster, no matter what Marvel Zombies will say; just like that ''Dawn of Justice'' failed to rake in the BILLION it was so assured of making the moment ''Batman Vs Superman'' was announced as a ''go'' what seems an eternity ago!) we have a super (no pun intended) heavy slate of would-be blockbusters slated for release one after the other in 2017...

Why bother going through them all when someone else has done already though, hmm? Listen up:

The first thing we care to blast here is this;

how dare Milla Jovovich come back with her

Resident Evil crap (rehashing this zombie thing

for the umpteenth time; in a year that will also see

Brad Pitt do it with the improbable World War Z 2 - ugh!)

when the premiere female heroine of all,

WONDER WOMAN is all set for her long-awaited

major motion picture debut at long last...?!?

Well, truth is, of course, Milla did portray

the true quintessential female heroine

of all-time, historically-speaking:

Joan of Ark, many years ago!

Plus she was Milady

in a failed Musketeers remake!

She deserves another ''mild success''

after all those efforts -

when Wonder Woman Gal Gadot

was still in diapers!

But let's have a look at the trailers now, before we go on any further with this...

Hmm... Okay, there are only 18 of them...

It is enough!

We have seen enough!

I know I have...

A kid behind Spider-Man's mask... Another Jason film - surprisingly not the 13th... Sequels lined-up for just about everything you can think of, not only for this year but all the way to 2020... Remakes for Lara Croft and King Kong - King Kong, yikes! Three things Tinseltown is good at: sequels, remakes... and repackagings! And so we will have The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, eventually repackaged as a super-villain (Black Adam of all things - logical, he was the Scorpion King; it is the exact same logic that got one-time Conan The Barbarian Jason Momoa cast as one-time ''Conan of the Seas'' Aquaman! What else does such logic produce: Scarlett Johansson really building a niche for herself here with Black Widow, LUCY and, now, Neon Reflux or whatever it is! She can replace ''old hag Milla'' as the new Resident Evil Chick... in a couple of years' time! We also get Jim Carrey in another weirdo role, Magneto officially endowed with an Assassin's Creed and Tom Cruise repackaged as Jack Reacher... Scientology-style, perhaps?

All this hoopla does not change our minds one iota: Hollywood is creatively bankrupt and it is utterly clueless how to make something truly memorable and for the ages. They have absolutely mastered the art of selling it, however - ultimately, however, it becomes so sad to behold, over time. When the trailers are all masterpieces that do generate excitement but the final products all leave A LOT to be desired, time and again, well... It may be time to give Indie Films a chance instead? One thing is for damn sure, with the latter: no CGI and no expectations, you risk being pleasantly surprised a whole lot more than the opposite...! And what do you know - we have just the thing to suggest, too...