The Art of Making A Splash
And in the category
''lesbian chic will keep you
in the limelight''
the award goes to...
Well, there are too many viable candidates for that one - and we confess that we didn't take any time at all to consider each and every one of them -nor their, er, merit under this optic here- in order to truly crown anyone, at this time... Suffice it to say, we merely aim for an overview of this trend that doesn't want to go away...!
After so many of them peppering so-called news sites and feeds with much-welcomed (by the masses) salacious content, it apparently was Taylor Swift's turn to indulge in this practice, most recently. However, that was quickly turned down and rebuffed by Taylor's very own representative, some nameless publicist time will fail to immortalize - snif, snif. And this despite some evidence that Taylor might well be a repeat offender of this type of lecherous crime: which is crying for the media's attention, desperately wanting to stay in the public eye, cause some uproar, make some noise - all of the above?
And indeed, unlike all the others these days (from Penelope Cruz making out with her very own sister and Mad-Onna Ciccone with everybody else to Kate McKinnon on SNL, Amber Rose and Amy Schumer, Jane Levy, Carlton Gebbia and Brandi Glanville, Lauren Goodger and Cara Kilbey (who?) and many, many more. There are also those ambiguous publicity coups such as those performed by Kelly Brook, Sienna Miller, Lorde and Ellie Goulding, Rosario Dawson and Jenny Slate, Zendaya (who?) and Bella Thorne, Maria Fowler, Kristanna Loken, Georgina Wilson and Isabelle Daza, Khloe Kardashian, Bar Refaeli, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus...! They're coming out of the woodwork, I tell you! And then there are the avowed sapphic ones -or openly bi- such as Cara Delevingne and three quarters of Tinseltown or the staged acts such as Tatu and Blonde Electra, to name but two! Hell, they've got even super-heroes doing it now! But that one falls into the ''TV SWEEPS/RATINGS DESPERATION MOVE'' category, really: and there are, admittedly and so obviously, just too many shows doing this to list them all here! But you can count on AfterEllen for that...! End of the extra-long parenthesis...) Taylor's alleged smooch with model friend Karlie Kloss was clearly not orchestrated by her talent agency -as with all the others- as it was only a blurry shot snapped by someone known as ''yeskathy'' on Twitter, also known as Kathy Parkk; most probably a wishful thinker in this case but one who was harshly criticized for failing to cash in on her snapshot of the year nominee here - tabloids could have given her a, er, king or queen's ransom (one just doesn't know anymore!) for it...? Maybe? Well, one never knows, right? Instead, she simply posted it through Twitter and all she collected for her efforts was a slap on the wrist by some anon rep who called it crap, on top of that! (The exact retort, rife with denial, actually read like this: ''it's sad that on the day it's announced Taylor has three Grammy nominations for Shake It Off, I have to shake off this crap.'' Hmm... The rep needs a rewrite - how about this: ''it is truly sad that, on such a tremendous day as this one was shaping up to be -with Taylor Swift collecting three fully-deserved Grammy nominations for her work on Shake It Off- I am obligated to shake off crap such as this...!'' That's more like it, eh? No need to thank me, anon rep! No need...)
Although the actual puckering up is put into question here (the girls were just whispering into each other's ear - or whiffing each other's hair?) and never mind the constant hand-holding with these two; they're just friends! So is the official word on it... Although little kisses are so often exchanged by many others of the same stature as these two, exactly and squarely in front of the cameras; so much so that it becomes suspiciously plain to see that this is all planned that way and the objective is, indeed, to make a splash. It never ceases to amaze the way the rather simple (often meaningless, for devoid of any true sentiment) act of puckering up can be viewed as such a ''career move'' - how it can become the focus of so much attention, hoopla, buzz - and ultimately even shock so consistently. It's been done to death by now: yet it continues to be perceived as trendy? That, alone, boggles the mind and defies both explanation as plain old logic. Yet, as long as it will be seen as such, the ladies in need will continue to seek out both another woman in the same situation - and a willing and very much accomplice photographer to make sure it has not all been done in vain! Although some will take no chances for the visibility and sheer impact of their lascivious gesture: they will go on stage during an award ceremony and seek out the lips of Meryl Streep herself! And see what it did to Sandra Bullock's career: it propelled her right into the stratosphere... In the music industry, mere innuendo seems to work, over and over again... Which is sad, ultimately: for teasing like that should be made illegal, no? The fangrrrls will not be able to take it much longer... no? Let's not go there...
Lesbian chic is a career-oriented tactical move. Other, younger gals do this as early as they can, in order to just make a name for themselves: after all, when you are a dime-and-dozen, you have to set yourself apart, somehow...! (The only problem may be that, it would seem like anyway everyone is doing it: so, it can't possibly work anymore! Oh well - back to the drawing board, eh? In the meantime - keep on trying, girls! And as it is amply evident already I am sure, none of you dread the eventual outcome of ''being stuck like that'' - or, worse yet, being typecast for life, à la Rooney Mara, Noomi Rapace or Jodhi May, for example! But that is another story; and those may be all dismissed as mere side effects... right, Rooney?)
It doesn't help, verily, that all these, in the end, quite innocent liplocks -meant only as career boosts and more-than-necessary shots-in-the-arm for all of these little girls' hopes and aspirations, really- are automatically and inexorably linked with pornography by all internet browsers known to... er, man? As Audre Lorde (another Lorde - trust me) laments, safe search must always be on because the mere sight of these, ultimately, quite banal and ordinary pecks is routinely interpreted as something else entirely; and that should not be as long as one girl's lips do not leave the other girl's lips - to go anywhere else on her person, right? These are not meant to be x-rated, folks; as they are merely publicity stunts! So, come on...!
Well, ultimately, all we can say is this: fear not, girlies! Whether it is to attain the prosperity and notoriety in life that you have always dreamed of, or merely to experiment (...) - it is certain that you can shake it off indeed, in due time! However, one thing is for sure: proper make-up will always be required in order for you ladies to deliver on the ''chic'' part of this thing: it does not apply only for the hardcore, true-and-true dyke of the whole lot, such as Lindsay Lohan's former DJ girlfriend Samantha Ronson or Cara or Michelle Rodriguez or any cast member of Orange Is The New Black... Perhaps it will not apply to the allegedly genderless like Ruby Rose claims to be or to a mere actress ''completely embracing it'' like Pretty Little Liar Shay Mitchell does (along with many Orange Is The New Black cast members too!) day in and day, ah, out... And it may be irrelevant whenever the deed is done with political undertones! (Though more often than not, it is all much ado about nothing at all... just like Kloss and Swift here, evidently were!)
Everybody else needs to keep up appearances leaning towards feminine wile, however, and for that we suggest:
That's enough for this time-tested, seemingly perennial type of ''chic'' now - next time, we shall talk about another, most perilous variety it would appear... grunge chic!
(Hang in there, Ireland! Oh - wait a second now: she is also into lesbian chic: she has a girlfriend! We have a multi-tasking chic one there! Mommy Kim Basinger must be proud... Daddio Alec, mostly!)
In closing, we would be remiss if we didn't remember that time-honored adage from the classic Casablanca and juxtapose it to all this stuff and fluff: ''you must remember this; a kiss is just a kiss'' - for it applies most particularly here as all the smoochers are only just friends... and business partners, at best!
''lesbian chic will keep you
in the limelight''
the award goes to...
Well, there are too many viable candidates for that one - and we confess that we didn't take any time at all to consider each and every one of them -nor their, er, merit under this optic here- in order to truly crown anyone, at this time... Suffice it to say, we merely aim for an overview of this trend that doesn't want to go away...!
After so many of them peppering so-called news sites and feeds with much-welcomed (by the masses) salacious content, it apparently was Taylor Swift's turn to indulge in this practice, most recently. However, that was quickly turned down and rebuffed by Taylor's very own representative, some nameless publicist time will fail to immortalize - snif, snif. And this despite some evidence that Taylor might well be a repeat offender of this type of lecherous crime: which is crying for the media's attention, desperately wanting to stay in the public eye, cause some uproar, make some noise - all of the above?
And indeed, unlike all the others these days (from Penelope Cruz making out with her very own sister and Mad-Onna Ciccone with everybody else to Kate McKinnon on SNL, Amber Rose and Amy Schumer, Jane Levy, Carlton Gebbia and Brandi Glanville, Lauren Goodger and Cara Kilbey (who?) and many, many more. There are also those ambiguous publicity coups such as those performed by Kelly Brook, Sienna Miller, Lorde and Ellie Goulding, Rosario Dawson and Jenny Slate, Zendaya (who?) and Bella Thorne, Maria Fowler, Kristanna Loken, Georgina Wilson and Isabelle Daza, Khloe Kardashian, Bar Refaeli, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus...! They're coming out of the woodwork, I tell you! And then there are the avowed sapphic ones -or openly bi- such as Cara Delevingne and three quarters of Tinseltown or the staged acts such as Tatu and Blonde Electra, to name but two! Hell, they've got even super-heroes doing it now! But that one falls into the ''TV SWEEPS/RATINGS DESPERATION MOVE'' category, really: and there are, admittedly and so obviously, just too many shows doing this to list them all here! But you can count on AfterEllen for that...! End of the extra-long parenthesis...) Taylor's alleged smooch with model friend Karlie Kloss was clearly not orchestrated by her talent agency -as with all the others- as it was only a blurry shot snapped by someone known as ''yeskathy'' on Twitter, also known as Kathy Parkk; most probably a wishful thinker in this case but one who was harshly criticized for failing to cash in on her snapshot of the year nominee here - tabloids could have given her a, er, king or queen's ransom (one just doesn't know anymore!) for it...? Maybe? Well, one never knows, right? Instead, she simply posted it through Twitter and all she collected for her efforts was a slap on the wrist by some anon rep who called it crap, on top of that! (The exact retort, rife with denial, actually read like this: ''it's sad that on the day it's announced Taylor has three Grammy nominations for Shake It Off, I have to shake off this crap.'' Hmm... The rep needs a rewrite - how about this: ''it is truly sad that, on such a tremendous day as this one was shaping up to be -with Taylor Swift collecting three fully-deserved Grammy nominations for her work on Shake It Off- I am obligated to shake off crap such as this...!'' That's more like it, eh? No need to thank me, anon rep! No need...)
Taylor Swift has this look of ''caught in the act'' here -
though some simply call it a Muppet look.
Owtch. That's disparaging.
Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/AMA2014/WireImage)
Although the actual puckering up is put into question here (the girls were just whispering into each other's ear - or whiffing each other's hair?) and never mind the constant hand-holding with these two; they're just friends! So is the official word on it... Although little kisses are so often exchanged by many others of the same stature as these two, exactly and squarely in front of the cameras; so much so that it becomes suspiciously plain to see that this is all planned that way and the objective is, indeed, to make a splash. It never ceases to amaze the way the rather simple (often meaningless, for devoid of any true sentiment) act of puckering up can be viewed as such a ''career move'' - how it can become the focus of so much attention, hoopla, buzz - and ultimately even shock so consistently. It's been done to death by now: yet it continues to be perceived as trendy? That, alone, boggles the mind and defies both explanation as plain old logic. Yet, as long as it will be seen as such, the ladies in need will continue to seek out both another woman in the same situation - and a willing and very much accomplice photographer to make sure it has not all been done in vain! Although some will take no chances for the visibility and sheer impact of their lascivious gesture: they will go on stage during an award ceremony and seek out the lips of Meryl Streep herself! And see what it did to Sandra Bullock's career: it propelled her right into the stratosphere... In the music industry, mere innuendo seems to work, over and over again... Which is sad, ultimately: for teasing like that should be made illegal, no? The fangrrrls will not be able to take it much longer... no? Let's not go there...
Lesbian chic is a career-oriented tactical move. Other, younger gals do this as early as they can, in order to just make a name for themselves: after all, when you are a dime-and-dozen, you have to set yourself apart, somehow...! (The only problem may be that, it would seem like anyway everyone is doing it: so, it can't possibly work anymore! Oh well - back to the drawing board, eh? In the meantime - keep on trying, girls! And as it is amply evident already I am sure, none of you dread the eventual outcome of ''being stuck like that'' - or, worse yet, being typecast for life, à la Rooney Mara, Noomi Rapace or Jodhi May, for example! But that is another story; and those may be all dismissed as mere side effects... right, Rooney?)
It doesn't help, verily, that all these, in the end, quite innocent liplocks -meant only as career boosts and more-than-necessary shots-in-the-arm for all of these little girls' hopes and aspirations, really- are automatically and inexorably linked with pornography by all internet browsers known to... er, man? As Audre Lorde (another Lorde - trust me) laments, safe search must always be on because the mere sight of these, ultimately, quite banal and ordinary pecks is routinely interpreted as something else entirely; and that should not be as long as one girl's lips do not leave the other girl's lips - to go anywhere else on her person, right? These are not meant to be x-rated, folks; as they are merely publicity stunts! So, come on...!
Well, ultimately, all we can say is this: fear not, girlies! Whether it is to attain the prosperity and notoriety in life that you have always dreamed of, or merely to experiment (...) - it is certain that you can shake it off indeed, in due time! However, one thing is for sure: proper make-up will always be required in order for you ladies to deliver on the ''chic'' part of this thing: it does not apply only for the hardcore, true-and-true dyke of the whole lot, such as Lindsay Lohan's former DJ girlfriend Samantha Ronson or Cara or Michelle Rodriguez or any cast member of Orange Is The New Black... Perhaps it will not apply to the allegedly genderless like Ruby Rose claims to be or to a mere actress ''completely embracing it'' like Pretty Little Liar Shay Mitchell does (along with many Orange Is The New Black cast members too!) day in and day, ah, out... And it may be irrelevant whenever the deed is done with political undertones! (Though more often than not, it is all much ado about nothing at all... just like Kloss and Swift here, evidently were!)
Everybody else needs to keep up appearances leaning towards feminine wile, however, and for that we suggest:
That's enough for this time-tested, seemingly perennial type of ''chic'' now - next time, we shall talk about another, most perilous variety it would appear... grunge chic!
(Hang in there, Ireland! Oh - wait a second now: she is also into lesbian chic: she has a girlfriend! We have a multi-tasking chic one there! Mommy Kim Basinger must be proud... Daddio Alec, mostly!)
In closing, we would be remiss if we didn't remember that time-honored adage from the classic Casablanca and juxtapose it to all this stuff and fluff: ''you must remember this; a kiss is just a kiss'' - for it applies most particularly here as all the smoochers are only just friends... and business partners, at best!
EH?
One day, we hope, the good old-fashioned
heterosexual handkiss
will be trendy again,
too!
But that's another story...
Labels: career choices, cinema, fashion, hollywood, lifestyles, music, rotten celluloid, Sapphic Sinema, the limelight, trends, YouTube videos
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ at 8:00 AM
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