It's The 4th - Not The Schwartz!

It's May the 4th - and, of course, the sheer date can only bring out the fanboy in all of us! 

What, with a freebie given away with each and every order, 

how can we resist indulging all over again? 

For most lovable nerds out there 

it is all about Star Wars. 

This year, though, 

there is something else to think about: 

Norse mythology and special effects, 

strangely enough, with just a dash of 

all-American patriotism on top, 

for added flavour? 

(Excuse me while my stomach turns...)

The Avengers are coming to the big screen - 

and a certain super-hero online retailer tries to profit 

while baiting customers with some freebies...

And why not - every May 5th or so, 

it is Free Comic Book Day 

right after ''May The 4th Be With You'' Day 

(and let's not forget about May Day - the original

since it was the First! 

Some students and assorted protesters 

sure did not forget about it, 

this year, at least...! 

But this is not about Protesters -

it's about Avengers!) 

Now it is all, I do mean all about those Avengers, 

now is it not? 

And what a master stroke of evil genius now 

to jointly hit the masses with such a double-whammy 

that perfectly fits the current trends: 

free comic-bookies with every order 

and order all Avengers-stuff that you can, 

er, avenge?

That oughta work! 

On the Avengers page, though, you will find all manners 

of merchandise evoking 

all possible -and impossible- 

members of the Avengers! 

Even this guy is on the list, somehow:

Kick-Ass... Kick-Ass?!?

I don't remember that crossover ever 

taking place - like, ever?!?

Are you sure you're not confusing the guy with 

Speedball, Scarlet Spider 

or some other New Warrior/Young Turk 

that came down the pike 

(lest ''crawled up the pipe'' 

would be more accurate?)

at some point in time? 

But ultimately (no pun intended) why not, eh - 

after all, these are the guys that offer you 

lots of t-shirts variants, a single action figure (of the hero's arch-nemesis) 

but exactly zero action figures of the hero actually in question 

in the case of one-time Avengers member Aquaman!

(At least he truly was an Avenger, once indeed, in the 2004 

team-up JLA/Avengers... remember?)

And that is just one example...

But the best example!

Why? 

There are so many reasons why -

but, here today, 

one shall suffice: 

Aquaman's striking resemblances 

and many similaritites with 

Luke Skywalker - 

which promptly brings us back to...

Star Wars!

And Star Wars Day 

aka 

May The 4th Be With You Day!

(What do you mean 

''what resemblance,

what similarities'''??

Why, you nincompoops -

where have you been sleeping 

for the last two decades: 

under a bedrock?!? 

There are tons of 

similitudes between 

these two heroes -

just get on with it 

and shut the hell up!

Ignorance may be bliss -

but it will be the opposite 

on my watch! 

Suffice it to say...)

And so it is Star Wars Day -

and what have you done?

(either for the Force - or against it?)

A tad too late to shop and get it delivered on time 

in order to wear it today - 

(for today is the 4th already, darnit) 

but it is the intention that counts, I guess! 

Star Wars fans! 

Spaceballs fans! 

SuperHero.com shoppers! 

But not with you Trekkies! 

:-!