೧೨ ಡೇಸ್ ಆಫ್ ಸ್ಪೇಸ್-ಮೆಸ್ಸ್...?!?
A special post guest-written by our good old friend Ackbar, surely...
'Tis that time of the year again...
''12 Days of Space-Mess'' that is...
Space-Mas, Space-Mess; what's the difference, eh?
(I think I just spoke in one of the 1001 alien dialects used in Lucas Productions over the years - but I am digressing right now...)
Space TV, better known as Space: The Imagination Station, is in the midst of its annual event called such; you can see its many promos for it by clicking here and you may see my personal favorite of them all by clicking on the picture below, which happens to be the picture of my favorite Star Wars character of all-time (he has looked and fared better than that too - but, yes, he has also looked much worse than that as well - like the time when he let Darth Vader slice him into oblivion...! But I am digressing once again here... Just click on the pic already!)
Thus, you've understood it and have heard it coming loud and clear; the unquestionable highlight of these messy proceedings in broadcasting is the umpteenth broadcast of STAR WARS: THE COMPLETE SAGA... Nothing else comes remotely close: not that insufferable Doctor Who and his Christmas Carol special (!), not that annoyingly self-sanctimonious Sanctuary; not that intolerable umpteenth Star Trek viewing penitence; certainly not the Zombie flicks all-in-a-row either!
STAR WARS is where it's at - THIS IS THE SITH, BABY!
And that is exactly where it gets messy, unfortunately...
Why? Because Star Wars is precisely that: sith. Or siht. Or...
Let me explain myself: they make up a monumental, politically-complex (on the surface anyhow) SAGA revolving around a rip-off of a Knight Order, tack on robotics galore and self-derisive humor, add an extremely unhealthy dosage of dramatics and melodramatics even, mix in all manners and sorts of diluted references to every imaginable mythological epic as well as religious mythos there ever was *AND* they even have the guts to overindulge in the latest technology available today -CGI- in order to enhance it all beyond belief... *Whew!*
AND THEN... They simply blow it.
They basically made up a new style of devil in Darth Maul, to totally outperform their clone of Jesus Himself, Qui-Gon Jinn. Further more, they had called that clone *Jinn* - something never to be equated with the King of Kings - ever... Just ask some Klingons around - they are not hard to find either... Then George and his gang reveal that Qui-Gon Jinn had been a pupil to Christopher Lee's ''Count Dooku'' - who, despite the ridiculous name, remains, even in his old age, a tremendous dark screen presence just as he was back in the 1970s when he starred in Hammer horror classic films as Count Dracula. Thus, Dracula had instructed the clone of Jesus on how to be all that he could be - great going, George. Great Scott, Lucas - you couldn't begin to be more blasphemous if you had TRIED...!!! But I may be digressing yet again here...! So let's just move on here...
I did omit the all-important incriminating bit about George choosing to name his Jedi-that-turns-to-the-dark-side-of-the-Force... Anakin. A direct reference to the fallen angels of Judeo-Christianity; more precisely, a direct reference to the offspring of these fallen angels, as they came down to Earth and began "knowing women"... The results, The Holy Bible says, were the race (or mixed breed) of sufferers of gigantism called the Anakim! But that is another story... So Anakin should be perceived as some offspring of the heavenly attendant kind, which would immediately explain why he had such a concentrated portion of The Force within him when Qui-Gon discovers him... But all that is merely (not-so subtly) implied, of course - never directly referred to as a plausible, easy explanation of the facts (as it should be, in fact) because George is A) such a coward and B) George is such an anti-Christian!
Add to that hints at incest between brother and sister, needless (not to say aimless) mayhem and massacres all throughout the "SAGA" and a sense of each episode being nothing more than a long sequence of mishaps and mistakes that carry on through the entire movie and, somehow, move the so-called "SAGA" forward, without much progress really, each and every single time...
Put all these factors (and plenty more) together and you shall see exactly what I mean here: STAR WARS IS A MONUMENTAL MESS!
And, thanks to this special event over at Space, you can clearly see how messy it gets as the six flicks are all shown in a row and (at least) twice too; starting on December 24th and going all the way through the early hours of December 26th...!
Watch then and you will note that all of these gross exaggerations and aberrations will start standing out all by themselves: and that is definitely NOT a good sign...
For it means that the mess is now out of control - and no one, absolutely no one (and that includes George) can remedy to it anymore! Not even if they spend the rest of their lives releasing new CGI-improved versions every five years or so...!
This sith is out of whack - and they will never admit to that sad conjuncture now for that might imply that they might have had something to do with it getting to be that way in the first place...!!!
Imagine how bad the other crap is, though: Doctor Who, Sanctuary and the Zombies are considerably more pathetic themselves, each in their own way..... And there is nothing to add to the saddest case of all, Star Trek - just ask the Trekkies out there!
The home-made commercials remain little gems of publicity though: they are inventive and incorporate just the right amount of humor to help us all stomaching that atrocious stuff! (And atrocious it is - only the Toxic Avenger could surpass it in sheer atrocity-level, I tell you!)
The home-made commercials are ART, in fact - unpretentious pure ART! And you can admire them as such and admire them all here Just let yourself be delighted to see such creeps as Darth Vader, Boba Fett, the Stormtrooper and (especially) the loathsome Darth Maul make total douche bags of themselves - "douche bag" being an expression George would use and even affectionate, I am sure... But that is me digressing once again!
Whatever happened to the traditional 12 Days of Christmas, I wonder in all that... Commercialism and such did not stop at putting The Christ out of Christmas - they had to put in SPACE instead of Him...!!!
Space-Mas, Space-Mess...! JUST CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF, I SAY!
There are 1001 better ways to spend these 12 Days, I tell ya...!
Admiring TRUE ART is but one of them...
Start here.
;)
'Tis that time of the year again...
''12 Days of Space-Mess'' that is...
Space-Mas, Space-Mess; what's the difference, eh?
(I think I just spoke in one of the 1001 alien dialects used in Lucas Productions over the years - but I am digressing right now...)
Space TV, better known as Space: The Imagination Station, is in the midst of its annual event called such; you can see its many promos for it by clicking here and you may see my personal favorite of them all by clicking on the picture below, which happens to be the picture of my favorite Star Wars character of all-time (he has looked and fared better than that too - but, yes, he has also looked much worse than that as well - like the time when he let Darth Vader slice him into oblivion...! But I am digressing once again here... Just click on the pic already!)
Thus, you've understood it and have heard it coming loud and clear; the unquestionable highlight of these messy proceedings in broadcasting is the umpteenth broadcast of STAR WARS: THE COMPLETE SAGA... Nothing else comes remotely close: not that insufferable Doctor Who and his Christmas Carol special (!), not that annoyingly self-sanctimonious Sanctuary; not that intolerable umpteenth Star Trek viewing penitence; certainly not the Zombie flicks all-in-a-row either!
STAR WARS is where it's at - THIS IS THE SITH, BABY!
And that is exactly where it gets messy, unfortunately...
Why? Because Star Wars is precisely that: sith. Or siht. Or...
Let me explain myself: they make up a monumental, politically-complex (on the surface anyhow) SAGA revolving around a rip-off of a Knight Order, tack on robotics galore and self-derisive humor, add an extremely unhealthy dosage of dramatics and melodramatics even, mix in all manners and sorts of diluted references to every imaginable mythological epic as well as religious mythos there ever was *AND* they even have the guts to overindulge in the latest technology available today -CGI- in order to enhance it all beyond belief... *Whew!*
AND THEN... They simply blow it.
They basically made up a new style of devil in Darth Maul, to totally outperform their clone of Jesus Himself, Qui-Gon Jinn. Further more, they had called that clone *Jinn* - something never to be equated with the King of Kings - ever... Just ask some Klingons around - they are not hard to find either... Then George and his gang reveal that Qui-Gon Jinn had been a pupil to Christopher Lee's ''Count Dooku'' - who, despite the ridiculous name, remains, even in his old age, a tremendous dark screen presence just as he was back in the 1970s when he starred in Hammer horror classic films as Count Dracula. Thus, Dracula had instructed the clone of Jesus on how to be all that he could be - great going, George. Great Scott, Lucas - you couldn't begin to be more blasphemous if you had TRIED...!!! But I may be digressing yet again here...! So let's just move on here...
I did omit the all-important incriminating bit about George choosing to name his Jedi-that-turns-to-the-dark-side-of-the-Force... Anakin. A direct reference to the fallen angels of Judeo-Christianity; more precisely, a direct reference to the offspring of these fallen angels, as they came down to Earth and began "knowing women"... The results, The Holy Bible says, were the race (or mixed breed) of sufferers of gigantism called the Anakim! But that is another story... So Anakin should be perceived as some offspring of the heavenly attendant kind, which would immediately explain why he had such a concentrated portion of The Force within him when Qui-Gon discovers him... But all that is merely (not-so subtly) implied, of course - never directly referred to as a plausible, easy explanation of the facts (as it should be, in fact) because George is A) such a coward and B) George is such an anti-Christian!
Add to that hints at incest between brother and sister, needless (not to say aimless) mayhem and massacres all throughout the "SAGA" and a sense of each episode being nothing more than a long sequence of mishaps and mistakes that carry on through the entire movie and, somehow, move the so-called "SAGA" forward, without much progress really, each and every single time...
Put all these factors (and plenty more) together and you shall see exactly what I mean here: STAR WARS IS A MONUMENTAL MESS!
And, thanks to this special event over at Space, you can clearly see how messy it gets as the six flicks are all shown in a row and (at least) twice too; starting on December 24th and going all the way through the early hours of December 26th...!
Watch then and you will note that all of these gross exaggerations and aberrations will start standing out all by themselves: and that is definitely NOT a good sign...
For it means that the mess is now out of control - and no one, absolutely no one (and that includes George) can remedy to it anymore! Not even if they spend the rest of their lives releasing new CGI-improved versions every five years or so...!
This sith is out of whack - and they will never admit to that sad conjuncture now for that might imply that they might have had something to do with it getting to be that way in the first place...!!!
Imagine how bad the other crap is, though: Doctor Who, Sanctuary and the Zombies are considerably more pathetic themselves, each in their own way..... And there is nothing to add to the saddest case of all, Star Trek - just ask the Trekkies out there!
The home-made commercials remain little gems of publicity though: they are inventive and incorporate just the right amount of humor to help us all stomaching that atrocious stuff! (And atrocious it is - only the Toxic Avenger could surpass it in sheer atrocity-level, I tell you!)
The home-made commercials are ART, in fact - unpretentious pure ART! And you can admire them as such and admire them all here Just let yourself be delighted to see such creeps as Darth Vader, Boba Fett, the Stormtrooper and (especially) the loathsome Darth Maul make total douche bags of themselves - "douche bag" being an expression George would use and even affectionate, I am sure... But that is me digressing once again!
Whatever happened to the traditional 12 Days of Christmas, I wonder in all that... Commercialism and such did not stop at putting The Christ out of Christmas - they had to put in SPACE instead of Him...!!!
Space-Mas, Space-Mess...! JUST CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF, I SAY!
There are 1001 better ways to spend these 12 Days, I tell ya...!
Admiring TRUE ART is but one of them...
Start here.
;)
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ at 10:31 PM
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