Top Ten Artsy Things You DO NOT Want To See/Hear/Read... When Going On Your Vacation!

As you may be reading this, folks, Luminous Luciano will be Live In The Air - Lord Knows exactly how many miles above the ground (or the sea) and well on his way for his much-awaited, highly-anticipated European Tour!   Hence, how else to celebrate this crossing of the ocean (the Atlantic, yes) then by whimsically laughing at the expense of the grim reaper (himself? herself? Nah - itself!) and boldly challenge fate itself (too) in the process!  Way to go kicking off a vacation for the ages - eh?  I think so myself - thanks!  Muito obrigado!  ;)

Thus, in that light and in that spirit, the first artsy creation you do not want to behold when in a plane, on your way to your much-needed vacation is...

... the movie FINAL DESTINATION.  Or any of its sequels - it goes without saying!  Ever seen the original movie -and by far the most effective one- huh?  This is surprisingly powerful cinematography, in this blase day and age, let me tell you so much!  The fact that I have seen this flick and still boarded my plane should be meritorious enough in and by itself...!

The second thing one does want to HEAR, this time... is a Paul Janz song that goes like this:



AND YET... I woke up, a mere few HOURS before the flight with just this tired old favorite of a song in my head... and the sound of airplanes in the background too!  (Hey - I slept in the airport, awaiting ever-so anxiously my departure from this wretched continent that I was born on - okay? Sue me - willya?!?)

Let us move ON...!

The third thing that you certainly do not want to be caught READING, this time, would be...Candide! Or The Unsinkable Molly Brown!  Or the autobiography of one Martin Grey - or any other book in which the main protagonist embarks a long journey of trials and tribulations... that sometimes ends without any reward whatsoever at the end.  That should eliminate only about 60% of modern fiction, though - for, up until very recently indeed, the majority of written fiction was plagued with the HAPPY ENDING SYNDROME...  And who wants that, really, huh?  Nowadays, NO ONE wants to be trialed or under pressure of any kind whatsoever - au contraire, everyone wants their cake pronto, and they will eat it, too!  No time to waste merely *getting there* - no way!  But that is another story, indeed... And this has gotten us ahead to the sixth thing already!

Sixth thing... is most definitely The Sixth Sense! Surely the airline I'm going to fly with cannot display that much poor taste and have this on their extended movie menu now - huh?!? I do not want to even think about seeing dead people - alright?!?

Seventh thing - The Seventh Seal. 'Nuff said, I am sure...?

Eighth thing - moving away from the on-flight entertainment now - would have to be any crazy on the flight with us; you know what I mean...!!! Now is not the time for hijackings; not when the Luminous Couple is flying - okay?!?  (Please!)
(And I know what you're thinking: that is not an ''artsy thing'' - at all! Well, for them, it is, trust me: the fine art of hijacking a plane, being a ''martyr'' and all that jazz... It is as artsy as the Art of War was to Lao Tsu - no kidding.)

Ninth thing we have got to avoid: too-adventurous a chef who would concoct meals just too way-out-of-this-world for my stomach to digest during a ten-hour journey in high altitude!

And the tenth thing to avoid at all costs during this ordeal: pop corn.

Popping corn is an artform - but it has no place in our lives today. Nope.

So then... to get back to our chief concern right now... what to do, see, listen to, read or simply tune in to, during all of those long hours of this cross-Atlantic flight...?

Hmm... Well, it is simple, really... I shall simply tune in to *she* that accompanies me...!  ;)

And that shall be all that I will need to see/hear/readout during the whole time we are suspended in that fearful altitude...  Nos vies en suspens...!    Meu Deus Do Céu - tenha piedade de nos dois! 

Amen! 
:)


+++