Summertime Blues: Movie Releases SUCK EGGS!
Advance reviews have me leaning toward the following prognostications: Iron Man will trounce Batman while Hellboy will deal with The Incredible Hulk as he does with all the other, ah, abominations he meets...
Or, actually, Kung Fu Panda will pummel and clobber the Dark Knight the moment he comes out, while that WALL-E will obliterate Iron Man at the first sign of rust - and tow his sorry carcass off to the junkyard! I'll stick to Hellboy and Hulk killing each other in a most graphic manner - unless Hancock slaughters both!
But really - what is so interesting anymore about the lousy special effects-laden comic-booky adaptations that they keep wanting to release for the summer season at the movies, eh? The only ones worth checking out are either on cheap cable (Mystery Men, The Specials) or on DVD/VHS/BluRay or whatever "the next thing" is, already...! In the latter-case, I guess it is "Super Hero Movie" that I am talking about; because all the other "picks" are guilty of the exact same things: overrated fluff, no story and nothing but hollowness in the end! It is like watching an extremely-long COMMERCIAL and getting nothing out of it, except maybe knowledge that there are 1001 derivative products available "out there" (merchandizing is key to cover production costs in CGI alone) AND after a whopping 2 hours of our lives wasted forevermore and that we know we will NEVER get back in any way, shape or form, we got confirmation, also, that Hollywood most definitely *is* creatively-bankrupt! But we knew so much already...
They've run out of ideas in Tinseltown! They pressed all of their lemons DRY! So, now, they look towards other "properties" - novels and short stories will get to be adapted to the big screen in greater numbers, old TV shows will be remade as feature films (usually disastrously, especially if Ben Stiller is involved) and, last but not least, the comic-books will be given a shot (no kidding they will: even ANT-MAN is in talks, these days! ANT-MAN! Why not make an ATOM ANT live action disaster movie while you're at it! Oh no - now they probably WILL TOO!!! Shades of "Antz vs A Bug's Life" or whatever those two films were titled again...!)
Anyhow, some find it fascinating that a "whole new (nearly underground) culture" is getting a shot at mass-mediatization, such as a movie can bring... See it duly analyzed (sort of) in the document below:
Dossier : les héros de la BD au cinéma
Me, I wonder how they all can be oblivious to the fact that this long-thought "impossible" mesh of mediums is going to promptly RUIN everything, every which way you look at it! Comic-books, already on a steep decline, will look lame and boring in comparison with the movie version and the obligatory video game that will come with it...! Those who attach too much of an importance to the original medium (mainly due to the fact that each panel of a comic-book can convey a certain effect of "timelessness" - which is unique to that medium indeed.) will be disappointed by any movie that is ever made with a "four-color hero". And then there is the movie industry itself; doesn't it know that, once they start making silly things such as a man in a bat suit or a gigantic green guy, "the norm" in films today, you can only find greater difficulty going back to "traditional filmmaking" afterwards? From where are low-key, philosophical, character-driven, dialogue-based, socially relevant, NORMAL films going to come from now? Exclusively from the INDIES - most likely! And those NEVER make much of an impact - at the box-office anyways...
One quick glance at the summer of 2008's line-up of films scheduled to hit theaters (not to mention clobber moviegoers; I mean, these are going to be BAD, folks! And the price of admission is at an all-time high...!) including a bunch of flicks slated to chime in at the box-office in the months and YEAR that follow, and one can see the rather HEAVY influence "super-heroics" and the like has these days on Tinseltown productions:
I.O.U.S.A.
Babylon A.D.
Iron Man
Bottle Shock
Stone Angel
Quantum of Solace (Bond. James Bond.)
Valkyrie
Kabluey
What Happens in Vegas...
Tale of Despereaux
Burn After Reading (good idea...)
American Teen
Speed Racer
Step Brothers (just another Will Ferrell flick...)
Brothers Bloom
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (not sure I even heard of "1"...)
Made of Honor
Traitor
Righteous Kill
Get Smart
Baby Mama
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Mirrors
Duchess
Blindness
Eagle Eye
Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
Hancock
Harold
Madagascar Escape 2 Africa
Kung Fu Panda
Brutal Massacre: A Comedy
Disaster Movie (most probably from the same people who brought you Scary Movie, Superhero Movie and Sex: The Movie.)
Harry Potter blahblahblah...
Gonzo: yaddayaddayadda...
Journey To The Center Of The Earth
The Forbidden Kingdom
Nim's Island
Nobel Son
Australia
Miracle At St. Anna
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Reprise
Religulous
Savage Grace
Sangre De Mi Sangre
How The Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
War, Inc.
Postal
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Sex and the City: The Movie
Swing Vote
The Strangers
Foot Fist Way
Kicking It
Kung Fu Panda (kids will rather see it again...!)
You Don't Mess With The Zohan
Mongol
Igor
The Incredible Hulk
Kung Fu Panda (might as well watch it a 3rd time instead of Inedible Bulk there - after all, a well-trained panda can take out the Hulk; we all know that!)
Diminished Capacity
The Dark Knight (holy moley, no audience left for this one, Batman!)
Batman: Gotham Knight (much less this one)
Prom Night (or this one)
Twilight (it is - indeed)
Nights In Rodanthe
Mad Detective
The Spirit
Elegy
Flash Of Genius
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (animation clones are in vogue)
Star Trek
Space Chimps
Children Of Huang Shi
Foot Fist Way
Redbelt
Rocker
Visitor
Go-Getter
Bigger, Stronger, Faster
Longshots
Garden Party
Happening
Tell No One
Love Guru
He's Just Not That Into You
Hamlet 2
Mamma Mia!
Fall
Take
Meet Dave
X-Files: I Want To Believe
The Edge Of Heaven
Wanted
Taken
Encounters At The End Of The World
In Search Of A Midnight Kiss
Gunning For That #1 Spot (better than having a G-Spot film - after SATC, one never knows...)
Transsiberian
Pineapple Express
Quarantine
Promotion
The Last Mistress
Tinker Bell
Choke
Miss Conception
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Finding Amanda (a long-awaited sequel to Desperately Seeking Susan?)
Rachel Getting Married
My Best Friend's Girl
Wonder Woman
The Women
The Wackness
Perfect Game
Punisher: War Zone
Marley & Me
Boy A
Bolt
Sixty Six
Frozen River
Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor
Death Race (what - no year attached to this one?)
Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs
WALL-E
Watchmen
Yes Man
How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
Beer For My Horses
Everybody Wants To Be Italian
Ashes of Time Redux
Saw V
W.
If it's not silly super antics, it's over-the-top surrealistic, would-be-comedic fare. That Zohan film, by the way, is surefire proof (to me anyhow - it is) that Adam Sandler is so envious of all of these super-hero types that he wanted to be ALL OF THEM AT ONCE (not to mention Chuck Norris-like) in this umpteenth farce on his personal long list of farcical wastes of celluloid. Notch it up as one more ego-driven crappy film for the SNL alumnus, aye, to also prove that he remains a Tinseltown minus, not a Hollywood heavyweight as he wishes to be so desperately (so obviously).
Not many "down to earth/normal" films in there, are there? They're all highly... hmm, what's the word... implausible? Aye, they sure are! And they'll keep churning them out that way because, with the levels of competition they get nowadays from all over the place, they have to be mighty-promising "spectacles" in order to get people to fork over the cash and go to a multiplex theater in the first place!
Notice though the PROPER ORDER given to three of them "new releases" that are coming out soon, below...
First the ITALIAN SPIDERMAN; then the mock confessions; and THEN the "dark knight" (who was never knighted either! Fake all the way...!)
NOW THAT is more like it, EH?
Strangest Spidey ever?
Get ready for an incredibly weird
and funny retro vision
of a familiar superhero. » Trailer
As long as SOME sort of logic is respected, we can deal with these sort of blues - can't we?
Us, the thinking filmgoers, I mean!
Labels: cinema, rotten celluloid, trends
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ at 6:38 PM
2 Comments:
Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan is not alone in being so SURPRISED at the numbers Bats is raking in - and, of course, it's not even really his numbers but truly the Joker's! (No joke - Heath Ledger would not be dead, this film would not be so "big" - at all.)
Evidently I am IMMENSELY surprised myself - and deeply disappointed at the depths reached on this one for the collective I.Q. and all... For the success of this flick proves how far DOWN it is headed; and there is no turning back now!
(Unlike what Christian Bale might have you believe, also, there is no SALVATION in this kind fare, no... Get it? After this second turn as Batty-man, he is set to become John Connor in the sequel-that-should-never-be: TERMINATOR - SALVATION. Sheesh. But that is another sad Holywood story...)
The ones who are most delightfully surprised of the Batty success though remain the creepy Warner Bros suits - of course...
And so, now, they will assuredly believe that they were RIGHT - in only wants to green-light batty projects...
The fools.
"Dark Knight" director surprised at film success
Tue Jul 29, 4:38 AM
TOKYO (Reuters) - Christopher Nolan, director of the new Batman sequel "The Dark Knight," said on Tuesday even he was surprised at the film's box office success which has shattered records in North American theatres.
Batman buried his rivals at the North American box office for a second weekend on Sunday, racing past $300 million in a record 10 days, distributor Warner Bros. Pictures said.
"When you do a film of this scale, you are certainly hoping to reach a large number of people. But I think we all have been completely taken by surprise by the scale of the film's success in America particularly," Nolan told reporters in Tokyo.
"I would not be able to point to exactly what it is ... If I knew that all my films would have been successful," he added at the event to promote the film, which opens in theatres across Japan on August 9.
A week after it scored a record breaking $158 million opening, "The Dark Knight" added a new title to its list of superlatives: the best second weekend, passing the holiday-boosted $72 million haul of 2004's "Shrek 2."
Just six days after its release in North America, the film had grossed more domestically than its predecessor, "Batman Begins," did in its entire run, according to studio Warner Bros, which is owned by Time Warner Inc.
English filmmaker Nolan had also directed 2005's "Batman Begins."
The $180 million "The Dark Knight," which stars Christian Bale as Batman and late actor Heath Ledger as the Joker, is reportedly drawing strong repeat business.
(Reporting by Chika Osaka, writing by Miral Fahmy, editing by Mike Collett-White)
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID ABOUT THIS NEWS STORY
Only three comments - and wait 'til you read the third...!
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Of course it would draw repeat viewers as Heath Ledgers performance was so amazing every time he was on screen you couldn't look away. The movie itself was an 8.5 but ledger was a solid 11
POSTED BY: gino1 on WED, JUL 30, 2008 03:17 AM -0500
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smith_jma
Well it should not be surprising why this film is doing so well. We are use to superhero films where the good guy solves all easily and saves everyone at the end.This film takes that a throws it in the garbage. No Batman is not all powerful, and he is flawed, yet determined, and no he cannot save everyone. If you have not already seen this film I would suggest you go, because the real star of the film is the joker. I dark scary man who shows that all good can be undone if you kill enough people.
POSTED BY: smith_jma on TUE, JUL 29, 2008 11:23 AM -0500
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No Photo Available.
I love Hollywood movie. The girls are hot and good at dance. Aishywarya, Just saw your profile on a celebrity and millioniarea dating site 【W e a l t h y L o v e s】. have you ever posted your profile on that site?
POSTED BY: aisima on TUE, JUL 29, 2008 09:13 AM -0500
nuff said.
The Batty success irks me the most due to the fact that it might mean that they will spoil a perfectly logical choice to portray another DC Super-Hero (with actual super powers) and bring him in again to be WASTED in the role of Harvey Dent aka Two-Face - in what will likely be called "The Caped Crusader" next...!
Sheesh.
Or Yikes.
Or Yuck. You choose.
Aside from that, no surprises at the box-office, really...
Ha.
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