Odds and Ends...
Harsh Reality is out on DVD now - the producers of that one will find that it is indeed a very harsh MARKET reality, out there too...
Eragon is also out on DVD - I guess it was more Dragonheart-like than LOTR-like after all, eh? The dragon's size is also more akin to that of a guppy "out there"...
====================================
Other DVD releases (that could have easily been "straight-to-DVD" releases while they were at it - but that is another story...) include The Marine.
Man - these WWE movies (See No Evil, No Holds Barred, The Condemned, The Unrepentent too (?), No Profit Allowed, See No Quality... Ok, I made up that last one and the WWE itself made up the second-to-last one there, in one of their many fits against Terry Bollea - aka Hulk Hogan!) I tell you; if there weren't TVA Films out there ("Fido" reeks and glows of a straight-to-DVD aura itself; but it is getting a theatrical try-out nonetheless, soon... Makes no sense to release a ZOMBIE FILM (named after a DOG OF A MOBILE COMPANY to boot) NOW, while Spring is in the process of springing... But that is their strategy! Such a film should be released in October, of course - and straight to DVD too! But I digress...) and if there weren't other cheapie filmmakers out there, in such overwhelming abundance, WWE Entertainment would be THE FRONT RUNNER... IN THE RECKLESS, ARTLESS, OUT-OF-CONTROL SICKENING WASTE OF CELLULOID PRINTS!
And at the Razzies, too...
====================================
I hope "The Marine" has an alternate ending - like ROCKY BALBOA, another DVD release (after a mostly mild success itself, in theaters...) will have - and no, it does not involve Rocky being busted for illegal substances in the less-than-hallowed Philadelphia Spectrum...!
(The old -now non-existent- Montreal Forum was reputed to have fantômes roaming its hallways and playing surface, equally... Does the Spectrum have spectres? Their AHL club is called the Phantoms... Just wondering...)
But let's see what it could be now, as far as an alternate ending for "The Marine" is concerned: John Cena gets permanently incapacitated from doing any more action movies!? Hey, it worked with The Rock, Bruce Willis and "Ah-nold" - unfortunately, we got as a direct result of that three plights of momentous proportions indeed: "serious thespian" The Rock; "serious thespian" Bruce Willis; and the power-mad Governator with that!!!
:(
He shamelessly gropes women, spouts out racial slurs, sentences to death reformed criminals, admits to be an Adolf fanboy on the side - AND he wants to be the first foreigner to be elected President of the United States nonetheless! What untold evils we get as bonuses when we do get what we wished for, sometimes - was all this worth the "bliss" of not having to go through a "Cobra 2", "Terminator 4", "Eraser Deux" and "True Lies Redux" (reflux?) - HUH?!? I don't think so...!
But I digress again...
====================================
Hulk will be shot in Toronto, they've announced...
The city of Montreal was, apparently, deeply heart-broken to not have the true Hulkster wreak havoc in their incredibly miserable sleazy town this summer... Boo-hoo...
Toronto, meanwhile, is pleased as punch another sci-fi "epic" will be made on their turf - shades of Millennium, I guess?!? Or that Travolta thing done for the glory of Scientology...?!?
Lest they fondly remember all those sad Scanners films...!
And so, the *true* Hulkster will be shot in T.O.
Well, I have to say - "so what?!?"
''What's you gonna do... BROTHER?!?''
Seems like everybody and their cousin are shot in Toronto, nowadays...!!!
Yes - THAT is another story...
However, Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt will head for Montreal instead of T.O. in the coming months; I wonder... Knowing the fickle nature of the Pittster, his keen sense to wreck his own peace of mind and his love of women, is this when he will try to embark on a torrid love affair with Miss Blanchett (the LUMINOUS CATE BLANCHETT, some have taken to call her - should I sue? Not her - them! Whoever they are...!!!) and ditch Mrs. Gia-Lara Croft Smith in the sulfurous process...?
Actually, what will happen is that Cate will slap Brad silly, he will take a tumble off Mont-Royal (much worse than that other lady recently took...) and that will be the end of that!
====================================
IMDB is taking a poll on the merits of casting Matt Damon as James T. Kirk in an umpteenth Star Trek failed-in-advance film...
Me, I wonder what is Matt's "entourage" doing letting him do that?!?
Matt clearly expressed his desire to NEVER portray a "super-hero" type on the big screen - ever! Unlike his buddy J-Lo-X Bennifer Aflack did, as Daredevil...
Sure, Nicholas Cage wanted to be Superman years ago and finally considerably (make that tremendously - beyond the point of tolerance and belief!) lowered his expectations and took the part of Ghost Rider instead...
And the ever-huggable Tobey Maguire is Spider-Man - for now.
While Christian Bale was desperate enough to be Batman...
Only a newcomer would be Superman though - an ambiguous metrosexual one at that...
But an Oscar-winner was convinced to put in double duty as "Catwoman-Storm"...!
And the once venerable actor who portrayed so convincingly seaman Horatio Hornblower was among the Fantastic Four - alongside a hot-headed newbie, a starlet that is used to this and a reliable rock-solid TV actor who was willing to wear tons of make-up in order to become a... Thing.
There is, hence, some "honor" in portraying a superheroic type these days...
However, Matt turned down flat the "unchance" to portray one of the worst of all; Sub-Mariner, when rumors were that he'd get offered the part...
Matt had, back then, enough common sense in him to know that if he played the part of such a weird, obnoxious, would-be-prince anti-hero, his "good guy" image would be WASTED - for good! That is a definite no-go for Good Will Hunting!
Still he has been anti-heroic before - what he REALLY worries about is his reputation as a SERIOUS ACTOR, of course!
What has happened to him for him to fail to sense the very same danger here, with this lousy part of an all-around too-cocky-for-his-own-good Starfleet Academy hotshot punk, still wet-behind-the-ears to boot, at this point in his "unsaga"...?
You've guessed it - I'm no Kirk fan! Heck, I'm no Trekkie either!
The only true space-faring heroes I can think of, from the "golden age of TV sci-fi" are: Prof. Robinson from Lost In Space... Apollo & Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica... Buck Rogers Gil Gerard. And Koenig (with crew) from Space: 1999...!
Not Kirk - NEVER Kirk!
How can Good Will Matt here not see the appalling effect that getting into the second skin of one Bad William Shatner (ughhhhh) might have on him and the way he is perceived by the public henceforth...?!?
Matt Damon should, instead, seriously consider TRUE super-heroic parts: I'd see him as Captain America or as Green Lantern.
Neither one of those two roles are as cartoony as Kirk is...
(Although any role can get to be cartoony with Tinseltown casting cooks, nowadays...)
====================================
Mentioned DAMON - gotta mention WAHLBERG.
The execrable one - not Donnie! ;)
(And feel relieved I will not mention DiCAPRIO too!)
Marky Mark has his (straight?) SHOOTER coming out these days - I saw the commercial for it the other day and it made me laugh...
In it, some bimbo of service tells him something like: "you are ready for everything, eh?" (she must be a CANADIAN THESPIAN bimbo du jour, oui...)
I doubt Marky Mark is truly prepared to see how huge a flop this one will be...
To think that this guy, like Matt who flat out refused Sub-Mariner, laughed off the notion that he would ever portray AQUAMAN...
And he prefers to become the "Shooter" instead.
He thinks this to be "his Bourne Identity" - rrrright.
Dream on Marky Mark!
(James Cameron was equally laughably proposed as a director for that one - based upon his past "Abyss-mal" accomplishments, I am sure... He then got truly abysmal when he agreed to produce and promote with added gusto that inane documentary on the alleged tombs of a certain Holy Family... But I'm digressing once more...)
Well then, the shooter -for his part- will be shot down by those 300 maniacs, the number 23, that Zodiac maniac, Spider-Man 3, those Hills that have eyes too...
- and even those Disney Wild Hogs, I tell you!
Luminous (\ô/) Luciano ™ has spoken! (Or written, anyhow!)
;)
Eragon is also out on DVD - I guess it was more Dragonheart-like than LOTR-like after all, eh? The dragon's size is also more akin to that of a guppy "out there"...
====================================
Other DVD releases (that could have easily been "straight-to-DVD" releases while they were at it - but that is another story...) include The Marine.
Man - these WWE movies (See No Evil, No Holds Barred, The Condemned, The Unrepentent too (?), No Profit Allowed, See No Quality... Ok, I made up that last one and the WWE itself made up the second-to-last one there, in one of their many fits against Terry Bollea - aka Hulk Hogan!) I tell you; if there weren't TVA Films out there ("Fido" reeks and glows of a straight-to-DVD aura itself; but it is getting a theatrical try-out nonetheless, soon... Makes no sense to release a ZOMBIE FILM (named after a DOG OF A MOBILE COMPANY to boot) NOW, while Spring is in the process of springing... But that is their strategy! Such a film should be released in October, of course - and straight to DVD too! But I digress...) and if there weren't other cheapie filmmakers out there, in such overwhelming abundance, WWE Entertainment would be THE FRONT RUNNER... IN THE RECKLESS, ARTLESS, OUT-OF-CONTROL SICKENING WASTE OF CELLULOID PRINTS!
And at the Razzies, too...
====================================
I hope "The Marine" has an alternate ending - like ROCKY BALBOA, another DVD release (after a mostly mild success itself, in theaters...) will have - and no, it does not involve Rocky being busted for illegal substances in the less-than-hallowed Philadelphia Spectrum...!
(The old -now non-existent- Montreal Forum was reputed to have fantômes roaming its hallways and playing surface, equally... Does the Spectrum have spectres? Their AHL club is called the Phantoms... Just wondering...)
But let's see what it could be now, as far as an alternate ending for "The Marine" is concerned: John Cena gets permanently incapacitated from doing any more action movies!? Hey, it worked with The Rock, Bruce Willis and "Ah-nold" - unfortunately, we got as a direct result of that three plights of momentous proportions indeed: "serious thespian" The Rock; "serious thespian" Bruce Willis; and the power-mad Governator with that!!!
:(
He shamelessly gropes women, spouts out racial slurs, sentences to death reformed criminals, admits to be an Adolf fanboy on the side - AND he wants to be the first foreigner to be elected President of the United States nonetheless! What untold evils we get as bonuses when we do get what we wished for, sometimes - was all this worth the "bliss" of not having to go through a "Cobra 2", "Terminator 4", "Eraser Deux" and "True Lies Redux" (reflux?) - HUH?!? I don't think so...!
But I digress again...
====================================
Hulk will be shot in Toronto, they've announced...
The city of Montreal was, apparently, deeply heart-broken to not have the true Hulkster wreak havoc in their incredibly miserable sleazy town this summer... Boo-hoo...
Toronto, meanwhile, is pleased as punch another sci-fi "epic" will be made on their turf - shades of Millennium, I guess?!? Or that Travolta thing done for the glory of Scientology...?!?
Lest they fondly remember all those sad Scanners films...!
And so, the *true* Hulkster will be shot in T.O.
Well, I have to say - "so what?!?"
''What's you gonna do... BROTHER?!?''
Seems like everybody and their cousin are shot in Toronto, nowadays...!!!
Yes - THAT is another story...
However, Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt will head for Montreal instead of T.O. in the coming months; I wonder... Knowing the fickle nature of the Pittster, his keen sense to wreck his own peace of mind and his love of women, is this when he will try to embark on a torrid love affair with Miss Blanchett (the LUMINOUS CATE BLANCHETT, some have taken to call her - should I sue? Not her - them! Whoever they are...!!!) and ditch Mrs. Gia-Lara Croft Smith in the sulfurous process...?
Actually, what will happen is that Cate will slap Brad silly, he will take a tumble off Mont-Royal (much worse than that other lady recently took...) and that will be the end of that!
====================================
IMDB is taking a poll on the merits of casting Matt Damon as James T. Kirk in an umpteenth Star Trek failed-in-advance film...
Me, I wonder what is Matt's "entourage" doing letting him do that?!?
Matt clearly expressed his desire to NEVER portray a "super-hero" type on the big screen - ever! Unlike his buddy J-Lo-X Bennifer Aflack did, as Daredevil...
Sure, Nicholas Cage wanted to be Superman years ago and finally considerably (make that tremendously - beyond the point of tolerance and belief!) lowered his expectations and took the part of Ghost Rider instead...
And the ever-huggable Tobey Maguire is Spider-Man - for now.
While Christian Bale was desperate enough to be Batman...
Only a newcomer would be Superman though - an ambiguous metrosexual one at that...
But an Oscar-winner was convinced to put in double duty as "Catwoman-Storm"...!
And the once venerable actor who portrayed so convincingly seaman Horatio Hornblower was among the Fantastic Four - alongside a hot-headed newbie, a starlet that is used to this and a reliable rock-solid TV actor who was willing to wear tons of make-up in order to become a... Thing.
There is, hence, some "honor" in portraying a superheroic type these days...
However, Matt turned down flat the "unchance" to portray one of the worst of all; Sub-Mariner, when rumors were that he'd get offered the part...
Matt had, back then, enough common sense in him to know that if he played the part of such a weird, obnoxious, would-be-prince anti-hero, his "good guy" image would be WASTED - for good! That is a definite no-go for Good Will Hunting!
Still he has been anti-heroic before - what he REALLY worries about is his reputation as a SERIOUS ACTOR, of course!
What has happened to him for him to fail to sense the very same danger here, with this lousy part of an all-around too-cocky-for-his-own-good Starfleet Academy hotshot punk, still wet-behind-the-ears to boot, at this point in his "unsaga"...?
You've guessed it - I'm no Kirk fan! Heck, I'm no Trekkie either!
The only true space-faring heroes I can think of, from the "golden age of TV sci-fi" are: Prof. Robinson from Lost In Space... Apollo & Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica... Buck Rogers Gil Gerard. And Koenig (with crew) from Space: 1999...!
Not Kirk - NEVER Kirk!
How can Good Will Matt here not see the appalling effect that getting into the second skin of one Bad William Shatner (ughhhhh) might have on him and the way he is perceived by the public henceforth...?!?
Matt Damon should, instead, seriously consider TRUE super-heroic parts: I'd see him as Captain America or as Green Lantern.
Neither one of those two roles are as cartoony as Kirk is...
(Although any role can get to be cartoony with Tinseltown casting cooks, nowadays...)
====================================
Mentioned DAMON - gotta mention WAHLBERG.
The execrable one - not Donnie! ;)
(And feel relieved I will not mention DiCAPRIO too!)
Marky Mark has his (straight?) SHOOTER coming out these days - I saw the commercial for it the other day and it made me laugh...
In it, some bimbo of service tells him something like: "you are ready for everything, eh?" (she must be a CANADIAN THESPIAN bimbo du jour, oui...)
I doubt Marky Mark is truly prepared to see how huge a flop this one will be...
To think that this guy, like Matt who flat out refused Sub-Mariner, laughed off the notion that he would ever portray AQUAMAN...
And he prefers to become the "Shooter" instead.
He thinks this to be "his Bourne Identity" - rrrright.
Dream on Marky Mark!
(James Cameron was equally laughably proposed as a director for that one - based upon his past "Abyss-mal" accomplishments, I am sure... He then got truly abysmal when he agreed to produce and promote with added gusto that inane documentary on the alleged tombs of a certain Holy Family... But I'm digressing once more...)
Well then, the shooter -for his part- will be shot down by those 300 maniacs, the number 23, that Zodiac maniac, Spider-Man 3, those Hills that have eyes too...
- and even those Disney Wild Hogs, I tell you!
Luminous (\ô/) Luciano ™ has spoken! (Or written, anyhow!)
;)
Labels: edgy, HA, reviews, simulpost, Sunglasses At Night
posted by Luminous (\ô/) Luciano™ at 11:53 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home