Now This Is *My* Kind Of Movie!

Just watch this extra-long FRENCH trailer 

and you'll understand exactly why...! 

Now, I know: 

this has been another terribly realized 

(only) sort-of-original idea: 

the BROTHERS GRIMM were much better than this 

but they lacked a Gretel, know what I mean...? 

Not that I expect to remember her name, even... 

Poor pathetic Hawkeye doesn't look 

so out of place, here, as he does in The Avengers 

(and, hey - what irony: 

this is the second time within a year 

that he replaces Matt Bourne Damon! 

Good going, replacement ''star'' -

damn, already forgot his name, too!) 

And it's always good to see 

good ol' Famke Janssen 

(always better than a dozen 

Scarlett Johanssons) 

in the type of role that suits her best: 

that of a butchy villainess 

without so much as a heartbeat! 

Sorry, Jean Grey fans! 

(Just wait to see how bad her neXt turn as 

''Marvel Girl'' will be  

when that whole Days Of Future Past nonsense 

comes to pass...!)

Well...
No matter how bad this film really is -

I still wish it had been like this 

-with two solid and deeply convinced 

as determined witchhunters- 

when they made that awful WARLOCK film 

back in 1989! 

Instead of the quaint Richard E. Grant 

and under-performing Lori Singer! 

If the producers of Hansel & Gretel 

had had any flair at all, 

they would have invited 

Julian Sands (not Assange) 

to burn at the stake 

yet one more time...!

Maybe in the sequel?

Nah - there won't be any sequel  

(then again... Warlock had two!) 

=+=